Right now I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop. It's 12:24 am. I'm procrastinating. I should get up, take my shower, get my gym bag together for tomorrow and get some much needed shut eye, but still I sit.
This is my problem. Queen Procrastinator at your service. My procrastination has led me to a lot of things, mainly it's led me to being as overweight as I am right now. Mind you, I've never been skinny-well once in my life when I was 12, but that was mainly a protest to the situation around me. I've managed to live 35 years by hiding behind food and my weight....by justifying my actions and choices because I'm beautiful and I still always did all of the things I wanted to do. I'm starting to realize how untrue the second part of that sentence is. There are things that I have managed to convince myself that I don't want to do in my life, mainly because at my current weight, they are impossibilities. And no, as much as I know no one outside of me is really going to read this, telling my weight isn't an option. What is an option is me making the effort to change things, to make my life better, to take control of ME. I've been letting any and everything else dictate me...I just 'go with the flow'...no set plans. That mentality hasn't gotten me very far and I'm almost ashamed that it's taken me this long to realize it. I can now say that I have realized it and I want to change it. That's the first start right, admitting you have a problem? This serves as my admission. I'm ready.
No comments:
Post a Comment